I reached and touched your hand

I am hoping he is okay. I am so worried. All I want is to go see him. Make sure he is okay. I love him more then ever. On the down fall I got really mad today because they went to go pick up her from land o lakes because she was visiting she and I got really mad. And I feel aweful I just want her to learn and never go back to where she is.

On the lighter note I am about 115 exactly. But I still feel so gross. It's better then 117, but no where near 105. I will be getting there. Once my cousin comes down I usually tend to not eat a lot when I keep busy. YAY!!

I expect I can't cry

I don't know what I want anymore. I miss Shaquille like whoah! I mean we were do close! But I guess we just grow apart. I wish we hadn't but nothing more I can do.

Anyways I feel so gross because I keep eating and eating and telling myself not too, but I do. I used to barely eat 200 calories now I eat I bet over 5,000 cause I am some fatty thats like 200 pounds. I hate this shit. I don't know what to do anymore.